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The past couple days have been pretty rough. I’ve been crying a lot because I miss my friends and family at home so bad, more than I ever have. You know who you are.

I miss being able to call someone whenever I feel like it and just say hi, ask for advice, bitch, or just talk about whatever. I miss being able to get online and talk to my friends who I don’t call all that often and just talk about random things. I miss the everyday things that I used to do, too. I miss being able to get online and mess around when I’m bored. I miss being able to drive somewhere, whether it be back home from Athens, or just to the store. I miss being able to go to Ping and work out. I miss being able to watch normal TV, like CNN, and actually know what’s going on in the news.

I feel like I’m sequestered, like I’m not in the know about anything. I think I’ve come to the realization that living somewhere other than my own country will never happen for more than 2 weeks. Sure, I was able to do it in Spain. I never felt homesick, I never cried, I never missed anyone or anything as badly as I do now. But, Spain is a completely different country, and I was in a completely different place in my life. I hadn’t yet created a life for myself, or a life in which I was comfortable. I was a recent high school graduate just entering into the critical college years, and I didn’t know where I wanted to go. Well, I’ve grown up a lot in the last 3 years, and I know who I am. I know where I want to go. I know where I want to be. I just need to take that final step to get there. This experience is really testing me. I suppose that’s what’s supposed to happen, but I didn’t think it was going to be this hard.

It’s different from day to day. I have my ups and downs. But, I know in my heart where I belong, and this isn’t it. I hate to sound so pessimistic because I’ve only been here for a little over two weeks, and my feelings could change. At the moment, though, this is how I’m feeling. I’ve started to cross the days off my calendar. I know that’s terrible, but I’m just so eager to get on with my life in the real world, and to see everyone again. I keep telling myself to enjoy this experience and take everything in because I may never have another one like it. But, doesn’t everyone say that to themselves? It’s much easier to say than to do, but I’m doing the best I can.